"it" just moved
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
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