I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
