There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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