it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize