You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I wanna passion pit in your ass
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
did you just send me my own nude
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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