what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I don't think brook has ever known best
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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