I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
