i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
