Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize
