This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
