If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
