I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
