is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
