she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
