My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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