We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Randomize
