I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize