I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
high people should be assigned attendants
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
