i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
