Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I am one with the molecules
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
