Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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