My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
