I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
