if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
