barbara walters just said penis...
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
