I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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