Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
