we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
