he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
