Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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