Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
