i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
