ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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