What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize