pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
