He is such a slut. More and more my type.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
