she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
