Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
