hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
