Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
