Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
