Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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