he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
