she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
