Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
