I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
How does it feel to date your dad?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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