I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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