I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
