he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
