Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
i just had sex bonerless
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
