In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
is this the sara with the beer cane?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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