someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
