Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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