I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
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