OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I don't deserve a penis
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
