WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize