I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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