Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
