is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
